COMPLEX MIND VS SIMPLE MIND
There are many reasons for this problem, of course — genetic influences, brain injury, bad diet, sleep disturbances, drug abuse and stress are all factors that contribute to a person’s condition. “
In the case of a teenager named Daniel, most people would agree with him that he is suffering from some kind of mental health problems. He grew up with his mother who had bipolar disorder and due to this she had been through many surgeries, treatments and doctors visits. His father was also ill with multiple disorders that caused his life to change. They lived a chaotic lifestyle full of struggle and isolation. It was not until Daniel moved into his own room at night that he noticed his symptoms becoming worse, making his family fear for their safety.
Daniel decided to leave his mother behind and come to America to be with his boyfriend whom he met on the plane and he couldn’t help but fall for it. He became a social outcast in the community looking for love, acceptance and attention. As time went on Daniel began to develop anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks, insomnia and even OCD. He lost interest in everything from school to sports to even hobbies like knitting. He hated everything about his environment that made him so unhappy and anxious. Was it because he wanted more?
Daniel did not have the same experiences he’d had in India, India, Spain or Portugal, he felt isolated and unloved. He knew that he didn’t want to live anymore and that he needed to be loved by somebody else. So he started applying to colleges all across the United States to learn how to make money, pay his tuition fees and get an education. One day while walking down the street he looked up and saw two boys standing outside his apartment building, waving to him and giving him good vibes. This one guy then proceeded to throw money at him, and then another guy. When Daniel opened his eyes he realized he was being attacked, again, just like his mom was. Again, he felt abandoned and unwanted. He left his apartment and turned to run off home, but then another wave of anxiety overtook him and he ran towards his car in order to hide away from these guys and to run away. The next thing he knew he was lying on a bed inside his apartment, alone. He realized his depression and anxiety were getting worse and the nightmares were coming closer and closer. I’m not going to see my son grow up”. From that moment, he stopped taking care of himself and became a shell of the man he once was. Not only he, but also her and his mom. After he passed away his mom also suffered from severe depression. She tried reaching out to his friends but he wouldn’t respond back. For eight years she stayed silent about it because he was seen to be depressed, in denial about his death, or a coward to talk about it. To this day, she doesn’t know how it happened.
A few years later she came to understand what had happened to Daniel and realized she didn’t want him to suffer like she had when she had him. She took a long hard look at Daniel’s body and thought of how easy it would be if everyone knew that he was alive and well, but no one did. That was until he became lifeless. Nobody could feel sorry for him and nobody knew enough to know why he died. All the answers were left to Daniel. His mom never got closure about him though. At this point she and Daniel’s aunt began treating Daniel and trying to give him back his humanity. Daniel’s aunt tried speaking and communicating with Daniel many times but to no avail. On April 13, 2019, Daniel passed away. Without ever even knowing his cause of death, she had no way of preventing Daniel from dying. Her words couldn’t hurt or comfort him and she just sat around and laughed about how Daniel knew how to love and laugh.
Daniel’s mom couldn’t stand having to watch this happen again and continued denying this existed. After three years of silence, she finally acknowledged that he was gone and said, “This is my child, this isn’t our child”. She went from not wanting to talk about it at all to now understanding that she had killed her child. She went from hating herself to being able to let Daniel die on her, and still seeing the pain she caused. Seeing a dead child lying there while her son was alive was devastating, yet she was unable to accept it. Months after, Daniel’s uncle found a letter written by him and returned it to the police. Once the letter was presented to the detective that he had in charge of Daniel’s remains, it was revealed to his aunt that the writer, Nathan James, had been writing about Daniel all along. Nathan had been struggling with something and he couldn’t stop talking about Daniel, telling his story from his childhood and how he loved him dearly. By the end of 2018, Nathan told his aunt what had happened with Daniel and she asked him about it, but didn’t believe him, and he kept saying things like, “I love you, you always do… You always do…”, “I am safe .Then two months later she realized that he had died in his sleep and he was no longer loved and cared about. Having lived a lie for so long, she finally understood. She understood that he was a piece of garbage in a world that gave him nothing, and that he deserved something better.
Daniel’s aunt felt no sympathy for Nathan. She had been taken advantage of from both sides of the fence and now couldn’t forgive either of them. Daniel’s grandfather and mother both were diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses and they both lost a child. Their experience with Daniel was absolutely different than any other parent’s because of how little they had to work with. With Daniel, it seemed like all of a sudden we saw some pretty big feelings and emotions right before our eyes. Emotions that are meant to be hidden underneath the mask of ‘normalness’, emotions that aren’t necessarily seen as wrong but rather as weird.
Daniel’s aunt was clearly not a believer. We see that when she talks about how easy it would be if everybody knew what Daniel was doing, her voice becomes shrill with anger and aggression. Now, it almost sounds like someone has just hit her with a truck and she gets furious at a stranger. But when we look at the real truth, Daniel was a victim of his own actions. How can anyone possibly love him after knowing that he got addicted to heroin? Who would choose this life of addiction over something much more normal, like food, sleeping, sex and the joys of having a child? Even his parents didn’t love him.
When the kids get older and realize that they hate each other they will turn on each other with vengeance, because they got punished by people who love them who have never loved anyone before. A lot of people have mental health issues that their families don’t like and so they go out looking for others who seem to be okay with them. Sometimes, a friend, a family member of a loved one, would try and convince them to stick around with them and tell them stories like this one: If that kid got bullied and they had to look for ways to get away, they would go and find their abuser. A lot of young adult’s nowadays think that going against the norms is cool, but when their abuser comes out and the consequences get so bad, it makes them mad and they get angry and start using drugs and alcohol. But, Daniel never got used to seeing his abusers like this. He was so close with his abuser that he didn’t even realize that he also had a abuser, someone completely opposite from himself. It makes me wonder, why does anyone else hate themselves these days? Do they actually deserve anything better than what they have, or are they just acting out of spite against themselves because they are ashamed of their past? Do they have a conscience or are they afraid to express any sympathy towards their victims because of what would happen to other children who they don’t have the power to feed and take care of? Are they just scared of not feeling any empathy for those whom they loved and lost their lives too? Is it because when they look in the mirror and see themselves and realize what they really were, they truly see what they always wanted to be before they met who they were meant to be with? No; they aren't, they're exactly the same. And they don't care about one another in the slightest.
Even though the scars are still there and they aren't healed with age, Daniel's aunt tries every single damn trick in the book to try to save her legacy. She asks her niece to go to college and she would be a great woman that the world would admire and respect. However, all she is able to do is walk into her house everyday and wake up in pain.
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